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Canceling the Cancel Culture

In mid 2018, a new phrase entered our vocabulary.  It was a new way of explaining an age old problem and the new phrase, Cancel Culture, has exploded since.  When people speak of the Cancel Culture, they speak of the response that some have to others they disagree with or who have done wrong.   In 2020, we saw politicians, talk show hosts, celebrities, and even some Christian leaders canceled.  When someone is canceled, there is an attempt to silence them through boycotts or demanding to remove them from the public eye.  Other times when people are canceled, they are put “on blast” and are attacked online and are torn down in very damaging and depersonalizing ways.

Some would say that the Cancel Culture is a new phenomenon but it’s not.  Conflict and hate is nothing new.  Living in disposable relationships is nothing new.  Writing people off is nothing new.  Building people up so that we can eventually tear them down is nothing new.  Social media has magnified the problem but didn’t create it.  The Cancel Culture also isn’t reserved just for the famous.  We have all lost friendships, experienced loss, and been shocked by how quickly relationships came to an end.  That’s why the Bible teaches us how to deal with conflict, disagreements, and even sin in healthy ways.  For those who are ready to cancel the Cancel Culture in their relationships, remember these truths from the Bible.

First, own your part.  Any time there is conflict in your world, you have a part to play in it.  Experiencing stress with a relationship at work?  What’s your part in the conflict?  How about struggling at home?  What is your part in the issue?  Know this:  if you are a part of a conflict you have something to own.  Maybe it’s a 50/50 thing and you are equally wrong; own your part of the problem.  Even if you are practically innocent and you are only 2% guilty, own 100% of your 2%.   In Matthew 7, Jesus taught this point as He challenged people not to point out the speck in another’s eye while ignoring the plank in their own eye.  Jesus was warning against the hypocrisy of asking others to “own their stuff” without doing the same.  To own your stuff means that you will admit that you are wrong and that you will commit to do differently to live at peace.

Second, pay attention to the condition of our heart and our relationships. In Hebrews 12:15, we are warned to watch out for the root of bitterness in our life.  In Ephesians 4, we are reminded to not let our anger become sin.  With a cold, angry, bitter heart, we will be quick to cancel others.  We might not blast them online, but we cut ourselves out of their lives.  We “ghost” them by disappearing without attempting reconciliation.  To keep this from happening, we keep an eye on the condition of your heart.  If you can’t overlook an offense that someone has committed against you, then you need to go to them to talk through it.  Don’t fake the peace by agreeing to disagree and don’t fake the peace by going along to get along.  That won’t work for long.  If you don’t deal with the issue directly, your heart will change toward that person and the toxicity that you experience toward them will spread to other relationships and areas in your life.  That’s why Ephesians 4:26 tells us to take care of things before the sun goes down.  Here is a simple goal:  when I have a problem with someone or I know that they have a problem with me, I will take a step to make it right in 24 hours.

Third, to cancel the Cancel Culture, you must know how to have tough conversations.  You must have the courage and guts to say what needs to be said and you must have the sensitivity to say it as it should be said.  Ephesians 4:15 tells us to “speak the truth in love.”  As you pursue peace with others, speak the truth concerning what they did to hurt or to harm you, but don’t do it to lash out, hurt, or seek revenge.  Learning to speak the truth in love means that you check your tone, check your volume, and check your words.  Until you are ready to say it without bitterness and rage, don’t say it.  Many times it is best to keep your words few so that you live what James 1:29 commands, “be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry because human anger never produces the righteousness that God desires.”  It is also helpful to know that the build up is typically worse than the actual conversation.   Most people feel some level of fear or anxiety before a tough talk, but the relief that is felt following the conversation far outweighs the fear.

Now is your time to cancel the Cancel Culture.  Do it with your commitment to peace.  Do it by keeping an eye on your heart.  Do it by refusing to let things go unaddressed.  Do it by having tough talks.  Jesus says that if you do this you will be blessed.  Blessed with loving, healthy relationships and blessed with the reputation of being a child of God.  Isn’t that better than canceling or being canceled by others?

 

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