No one had to convince you to love your children.
It happened the first time you held or saw them and memorized every detail of their faces.
It happened when you heard them laugh for the first time or tell a joke.
It happened when their personalities seemed to show up overnight.
But there’s something inside of us that wants our kids to really know how much they are loved. The problem is, that seems impossible—they’re kids. They might never understand or appreciate the depth of our love for them.
But a kid doesn’t have to understand or appreciate a parent’s love to be affected by it. So, maybe the best thing we can do for our kids is not to get them to understand how much we love them, but to prove to them that we love them enough.
How? By showing up.
We can show up predictably.
Whatever your work, school, or activity schedule, you can show up in predictable ways. It’s how you greet them in the morning, how you meet them at the end of the school day, how you end the day together, and how you spend your weekend. It’s the small ways you show up in their world, day after day, week after week, that communicate love.
We can show up mentally.
Okay…this won’t apply all the time. There are some times when our mental energy is somewhere else—that’s just life. But there are moments when we can show up mentally more than others. We can plan strategic moments to disconnect and focus on what our kids have to say. One of the best times to show up mentally might be riding in the car. Some research actually shows that conversations happen more easily when we don’t have direct eye contact.
We can show up randomly.
These are the really fun moments. The surprises. It can be an unexpected note in their lunchbox or a text in the middle of the day. It can be a non-traditional dinner night doing exactly what they want to do. Whatever it is, when you show up randomly, you have an opportunity to show your kid you are thinking about them when they least expect it.
Even if your kids never really appreciate the deep down love you have for them, be encouraged. By showing up predictably over time, giving them our attention, and showing up in unpredictable ways, we can show our children we love them enough. And not only that, we can help them understand they are lovable, that they have value, and that they are worth it.
It happened the first time you held or saw them and memorized every detail of their faces.
It happened when you heard them laugh for the first time or tell a joke.
It happened when their personalities seemed to show up overnight.
But there’s something inside of us that wants our kids to really know how much they are loved. The problem is, that seems impossible—they’re kids. They might never understand or appreciate the depth of our love for them.
But a kid doesn’t have to understand or appreciate a parent’s love to be affected by it. So, maybe the best thing we can do for our kids is not to get them to understand how much we love them, but to prove to them that we love them enough.
How? By showing up.
We can show up predictably.
Whatever your work, school, or activity schedule, you can show up in predictable ways. It’s how you greet them in the morning, how you meet them at the end of the school day, how you end the day together, and how you spend your weekend. It’s the small ways you show up in their world, day after day, week after week, that communicate love.
We can show up mentally.
Okay…this won’t apply all the time. There are some times when our mental energy is somewhere else—that’s just life. But there are moments when we can show up mentally more than others. We can plan strategic moments to disconnect and focus on what our kids have to say. One of the best times to show up mentally might be riding in the car. Some research actually shows that conversations happen more easily when we don’t have direct eye contact.
We can show up randomly.
These are the really fun moments. The surprises. It can be an unexpected note in their lunchbox or a text in the middle of the day. It can be a non-traditional dinner night doing exactly what they want to do. Whatever it is, when you show up randomly, you have an opportunity to show your kid you are thinking about them when they least expect it.
Even if your kids never really appreciate the deep down love you have for them, be encouraged. By showing up predictably over time, giving them our attention, and showing up in unpredictable ways, we can show our children we love them enough. And not only that, we can help them understand they are lovable, that they have value, and that they are worth it.